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People always talk about the number of years you should wait between having children–the sibling age gap. Everyone has opinions on this matter. Your mother might tell you that two years is the perfect number of years to wait between having children while your Aunt feels that having them four years apart is just right. Maybe you should wait until one child is off to kindergarten before having another child or maybe you should have them super close together so each child has a playmate.
But then there comes a time when the gap just starts getting larger and larger. Before you know it, you’re looking at your only child who is now seven or eight years old. That’s what happened to me. I was a single mom, raising my daughter, and knowing I wanted another child. But what about the sibling gap? She was going to be so much older than my next child.
Everyone has an opinion on this matter, that’s for sure!
- Why have another child when you have such a great child already?
- It will be like starting all over again!
- Think of how having a newborn will change your older child’s life.
No one really had many positive things to say about my wanting another child (Until Christopher came along, that is). Yet I knew I was ready to have another baby at that point. So as I got older, and my daughter got older, the time came for me to have my son Christopher. The sibling age gap between Brid and Christopher is 10 years.
Just like sibling gaps of any other range, there are pros and cons to this large gap.
- Each child got undivided attention during the newborn stage.
- The older child had many years of being the center of attention.
- Now that the older child is involved in extra activities, the younger child gets a lot of undivided time and attention.
- The older sibling can entertain the younger child or even babysit as they both get older.
- Since the younger sibling goes to bed early, the older sibling still enjoys time alone with parents.
- An older sibling is more understanding of a young infant’s demanding needs.
- Older siblings love carrying down family traditions to their younger siblings.
- The new sibling gets carted around to all the older siblings extra curricular activities.
- It is hard to find family activities (such a museums) that are age appropriate for siblings who are 10 years apart in age.
- Younger siblings are always bugging their older siblings…especially when they have friends over.
- It is hard for an older sibling to give up being an only child.
What is the age gap of your children? Are you happy with how long you waited?