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If only there was a magic wand for those times when your toddler gets frustrated. I am currently going through toddlerhood for the second time. Well, third if you count when I was THAT toddler. Combine that with the years I worked in a daycare, and I’ve had my fair share of experience with a wide variety of toddler behaviors. Here are a few tips I’ve found to be helpful in getting through your toddler’s “spirited” stage.
Routine, Routine, Routine
You’ve probably heard it before and I’m going to say it again—toddlers thrive on routine. Having a consistent schedule of when they nap, eat, snack and go to bed is the number-one most important thing you can do for your child. Toddlers are going through so many changes—from language development to fine tuning motor skills—that keeping a routine gives them something consistent and familiar, which will improve behaviors.
Give Choices
It’s important to start giving your child choices early in life where there isn’t a wrong choice. This way, they are learning to make their own decisions while always making the “right” choice. Here are some examples:
- Do you want an apple or banana for snack?
- You can walk holding my hand or I can carry you to the car.
- Would you like to wear your whale shirt or lion shirt?
Allowing your toddler to make choices will encourage him or her to be more independent while feeling as if he or she has control of the situation. Toddlers take pride in their choices and actions!
Help, Mama!
A major reason toddlers throw temper tantrums is because they can’t communicate their needs effectively. One of the most effective ways I’ve found to help a toddler communicate when they’re frustrated is to teach them to ask for help. If your child isn’t speaking enough to say “help” verbally, teach them to sign it. Toddlers get frustrated when they can’t complete a task or communicate their needs. Asking for help can prevent the tempter tantrums that come with frustration.
Take a Deep Breath
Relax and take a deep breath. Because toddlers are learning so much and struggling to communicate their needs, it’s important for you to stay calm. Let your toddler know it’s okay to get angry, but teach them acceptable ways to deal with their anger. Maybe it’s snuggling a stuffed animal or looking at a book. Give your toddler a way to calm down.
These toddler tactics have helped me stay sane through these fun, but volatile years. Every day presents a new adventure with a toddler! How have you have worked through temper tantrums at your house?
Great advise, Erin! But how do you teach a toddler that it’s ok to be angry while they are in the middle of throwing themselves in the floor?
My advice would be to pick them up and show them a way that they can release their anger or calm down. Like hand them a blanket and try to read a book. Or try to put their feelings into words for them- “I see you’re angry by the way you’re acting. Are you angry because you’re hungry, tired, hurt, etc…?” and help them solve their problem if you can!
Thanks! I feel so helpless while she is crying and inching herself across the carpet. It was so much easier when everything could be solved with some breastfeeding.
I have been struggling through the same thing, Bobbi! There are few things more frustrating than having a child throw themselves on the floor in public (or at home). I am going to try this next time my daughter does it.
I find that redirecting works most of the time with E’s tantrums which is great. Today she had the longest most drawn out cry fest because she was tired and sick and angry about it. Poor thing. All I could do was give her a snack to get her to calm down. She wasn’t asking for food but she usually gets a snack after her nap anyway, and since nap time was an utter failure I figured what the heck.
She stopped crying (after an hour) when I gave her the snack but I feel like I was just teaching her to feed her emotions instead of express them.
I tried reading and redirecting and the snack is the only thing that would get her to stop. Any ideas on other things to try next time she has a total melt down? I would hate to turn her into an emotional eater.
When it gets to a point where nothing seems to be working, sometimes just a change of venue helps. Something as simple as going outside or taking a bath can change a mood. And I know that those things can lighten my mood as an adult! So it makes sense that it can help with our Little Ones as well. 🙂
I am going to try the Anger Box I like the idea of hands on. I get just as frustrated as my grand daughter and feel like I can’t help her.
I hope it works well for your grand daughter! Please let us know what you put in it and how it works for you!