This post may contain affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.
This post is brought to you by Caitlin as part of our “Feeding Your Baby” series.
I had never planned on formula feeding. From the beginning I didn’t know much about breastfeeding other than you put the baby on the boob and that it was what I wanted to do. Even after an unplanned c-section breastfeeding started off really well for us. My daughter took to my breast like a long-lost friend and, even to this day, she’ll gladly snuggle up next to them over a pillow or her favorite stuffed animal. For the first couple of months breastfeeding came with ease.
When my daughter was two months old, my husband had returned home from Tech School for the Air Force and it was time for our first move. What had been a case of postpartum depression that I had waved my hand at as baby blues worsened, and with it the difficulties with breastfeeding began. Unaware that I could reach out for help for both PPD and breastfeeding, I began to supplement with formula in bottles that had been purchased with pumped breast milk in mind.
Before I knew it I was a formula-feeding mom. At first I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders, but it was short lived. A few weeks later I realized that I missed nursing. I felt like a failure for giving up.
But no one, not one person, made me feel guilty other than myself. Over phone calls with my mother and my sister and through discussions with my husband I was given nothing but support. However, it wasn’t until recently that I came to peace with my decision to formula feed my daughter. As mothers we are often our biggest and hardest critics. It took me far too long to realize I couldn’t dwell on a decision I made when my daughter was so young. She was fed, well cared for, and loved every single day. In the grand scheme of things, that decision was tiny—nothing more than one of thousands of stars far off in the dark evening sky. Because you know what?
Formula feeding is OK!
Say it with me—formula feeding is a-ok.
My husband was my biggest support. He wasn’t scared to dive in and wash a bottle for me or run out for a can of formula early one Saturday morning while my daughter and I caught an extra half hour of sleep. And he was even happy to be able to help feed our daughter.
I’m perfectly alright with having fed my daughter formula, which is not something I could say until recently. If you’re faced with the decision of breast or formula, or are looking back at the decision you made with quiet guilt, remember that we aren’t perfect, we make the decisions that are the best for us with more factors than others understand.
About Cailtin:
Caitlin is a wife, a mom, and a lover of words living on an Air Force base in the middle of nowhere. In between chasing after her 20-month-old, Penny, folding laundry, and spending half the day in the kitchen, she tries to jot down a few words in her notebook and blogs over at All About Growing up and Becoming a Famous Author. She and her husband are expecting their second child in June.
This is personal advice and should not be substituted for advice from a medical professional.
Read other posts in this series:
Chriisy’s story-Feeding Your Baby Exclusively Expressed Breast Milk
Jasmine’s story-Feeding Your Baby: Supplementing Breast Milk with Formula
Thank you, Caitlin! You’re so right. I felt tremendous guilt from having to feed my daughter formula as well, and still do some days when I happen to stop and think about it. We were both great at breastfeeding but my milk supply was never that great and quickly dried up, forcing me to switch to formula. Everyone was so supportive, but I was just devastated. But she is perfectly happy and healthy and that’s all that matters. 🙂
I definitely understand feeling devastated despite the supportive environment. When there are moments where I still feel down I remind myself of that just that; she is perfectly happy and healthy! I’m glad that you could relate. It’s really nice to see these comments and know that there are others out there who have been in the same situation.
Thank you Caitlin! I breastfed for 4 months, and when I made the decision to supplement with formula, my parents told me I wasn’t doing my job as a mother. It made the guilt a million times worse! My milk supply was always low and we always had trouble latching, so I thought I was doing the right thing for my baby. It’s always nice to be reassured that not breastfeeding for 12 months does not make you a bad mom! Thanks again 🙂
Oh no, I’m sorry that you were told that! I think doing your job as a mother is making sure that your child is fed, clothed, and loved on as much as they can be. If that’s how feeding worked best for you with a low supply and latch issues, then you were definitely doing your job. 🙂
Thank you Caitlin for your post. My daughter has had that hard decision to make. You had a lot of support from your family and that is very special. My daughter also had that support, but there were people who were not as supportive and actually tell new moms that formula feeding is wrong and make them feel terribly guilty about it. There are reasons that sometimes are beyond a new mom’s control. There is so much going on right after having a baby, women should not be made to feel guilty if things don’t go as planned.I think the most important thing is keeping the baby and the new mom rested and happy and full of relaxing times to get to knpw each other.
That’s wonderful that you were supportive of your daughter! It was such a tremendous help to have my mom let me know that I wasn’t a failure, that we were just taking another route. I’m sorry that your daughter was also faced with people who did not understand and were not as supportive. Most important thing is that little one is fed and loved!
Caitlin, you rock! This ff mommy is proud of you!
Thank you, thank you thank you for posting this!! I have had people telling me that forumal feeding is wrong, blah blah blah. But my daughter is doing so well! I have struggled with breastfeeding… stressing myself out, which in turn took away time spent with my baby. I should have been just enjoying her!