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Each time I see the double pink lines on that plastic stick, an excitement comes over me that I just can’t describe. My heart fills with a warmth that makes it hard to stop smiling, and I feel the need to share my pregnancy news right away. With my first, the excitement was overwhelming. I realized that my life would forever be different and I was overcome with joy over the thought of becoming a mother! When I told my husband, I asked him when he thought we should announce to our family and friends and his response was simply “At least wait until you’ve been to the doctor.”.
The idea of waiting that long just didn’t seem right to me for some reason.
My doctor’s office wanted to see me at about 10-12 weeks along, and I was currently only 3-4 weeks along. Waiting 2 months wasn’t something I was willing to do, so my husband and I revisited the idea of announcing. I asked him what his reservations were about telling our family and friends, and his response was honest and caring-That if anything happened to this baby, we would have to go back and tell everyone that we had lost it. After watching friends deal with miscarriages and loss in the past, I completely understood his fears but gave him my perspective on why I wanted to announce earlier…
Babies are such a blessing. Blessings to all involved. Why keep that blessing to ourselves when we knew that baby was a blessing to our family and friends as well? The loved ones that we would tell are the same loved ones that would be joyous for us, would celebrate this new baby and the future we had ahead! And should we suffer a loss, they were also the same loved ones who would support us and surround us with love.
And on a much lighter note, I’m terrible at keeping a secret. I knew that I would want to tell my parents (who had yet to have any grandchildren!) and to lean on my mom for advice in those early weeks. I wasn’t really wanting to rely on Dr. Google to help me know if cramping was normal, or why I just wanted to sleep…I wanted first hand experience from the woman who not only birthed me but my three siblings as well!
We decided to announce that first baby right away and I did not regret it one bit, despite some people’s reactions that I was announcing far too soon. That I SHOULDN’T share my pregnancy news until 12 weeks “When everything is safe”. This baffled me. At what point in your pregnancy… or in your life is anything really safe? What if I made it to 12 weeks, announced and then had a loss at 20 weeks? What if we delivered our child and then he or she had gotten sick and passed away? My feelings on all of this were just that no matter when we had decided to announce our pregnancy, there is ALWAYS a threat. It was no one’s choice but ours and we had made the choice to share our joy, no matter the outcome.
With our second, I did wait a little longer…a day or two longer. We couldn’t wait to let our families know that our firstborn would soon be a big brother, and we told only a few days after we found out. I knew I might need help with our son here and there, at the very least for doctor visits!
The third time around we waited the longest to announce. We waited over a week, but only because my husbands parents were coming to visit and this pregnancy had been SUCH a surprise to us that we wanted to share the surprise in person with family (our entire family lives long distances away and we had never been able to announce a pregnancy in person!). I made t-shirts for both my boys to wear (using THIS method) and we announced to Mom and Dad, and then sent the rest of the family a photo over the phone right after.
Am I regretful at all to have shared our joys so early on when the threat of a loss is still so possible? No. Sure, a miscarriage would devastate me and it would of course be hard to share that news with those who love us and love our babies, but I am the type that craves the village. I love having others around to share in all of the highs AND all of the lows in my life, just as I love to be there for theirs. I wear my heart on my sleeve and openly show my emotions, so to keep a pregnancy secret for me would be impossible.
I completely understand those that wish to wait to announce. We all have our reasons for everything we do. Whether you announce your pregnancy at 4 weeks, 12 weeks, 20 weeks or beyond, it is all about your own emotions and what you choose. Only YOU know how you can handle emotions in different situations. My choice was made based on knowing that I wanted a village to surround me, and that I needed the support of those I love!