Moms, trust me. I get it. I was there. Standing naked in front of the mirror, I would stare at every imperfection, every roll, every stretch mark wondering not only how could I get myself back to feeling like me, but how in the world my husband would find me sexy again. If I didn’t feel it, there is no way he would. I found myself spending my days in my pajamas, snacking, and binge watching reality shows when my kids were napping. I lost that part of me that made me feel like, well… me.
It wasn’t until I was fed up with the way I saw myself in the mirror, that I finally did something about it. Even if my husband stopped finding me attractive (which he didn’t, bless his heart), I was determined to make myself feel sexy and bring back a part of myself that became absent after I had kids. Just because I was a mom, didn’t mean I needed to lose myself. And guess what? Neither do you.
Here are some tips on how to feel sexy after having kids.
Get yourself dressed every day. What’s the point, right? You are going to be home all day with the kids and no one is going to see you anyways, so why bother? It only creates more laundry.
This could be the worst thing that has ever come out of my mouth or yours. Stop it. There are so many reasons to get dressed every day. Don’t make the excuse you have no time, because you do. All you need is a quick 5 minutes here and there to throw on a new shirt and pants. If you don’t have time to do your hair, you can throw it in a cute messy bun or ponytail. Don’t have time to do your makeup? Mascara goes a long way and so does lipgloss. Do this for YOU. By the time your spouse comes home, you won’t feel (or look) like a walking zombie. I know I am not a psychologist, but this has always been something that makes me feel more energized and more like myself because I can look in the mirror and see me again.
Buy new underwear. Go and do it. Right now. And while you are at it, get a new sexy bra that fit your mom boobs, too. Sure, you aren’t going to see them all day long, but you will know they are there. You will be able to feel more confident and sexy in your new bra and hey, after the kids are in bed, you can then show the new underwear and bra off to your spouse.
Eat a well balanced meal. Believe it or not, you are what you eat so make sure what you are putting in your body, you are proud of. Sure it’s ok to indulge from time to time, but eating healthier will give your body more energy, more glow, and can then, in return make you feel sexier.
Exercise. You don’t have to become a gym member and spend hours working out. Thankfully today you can easily find quick workouts to do at home. Anywhere you look: YouTube, Google searches, Facebook, Instagram, there are constant videos for people who may only have 5 minutes to get a quick workout in. Do it during nap time and then when your child(ren) are full of energy head out for a walk and get some fresh air.
Text your spouse. Don’t just say “hi, how’s work” and then start complaining about the house, kids, etc. Text him like you did when you were first dating. Text him you miss him, text him that you can’t wait to put the kids in bed so you can spend time with him, get back to flirting. Even after kids, flirting with your spouse is always a good idea.
Set up date night. Arrange a babysitter and make a date night happen with your spouse. Even if you just go to your local Denny’s. make it a fun date where you both get dressed up. Put on a sexy new dress, throw on those heels, fix your hair and your makeup and strut your stuff, like YEP… I just had a baby and I am PROUD!
Make time for sex. This is probably the last thing on your mind, especially with all that is going on in your daily mom life, but you need to make time for sex. Not only will this help keep your marriage healthy, but after an amazing night of sexy time, you always feel like a new woman.
Buy clothing that fits. Yep, it’s true. You may never wear those pants you have been holding on to since you first found out you were pregnant, and that’s ok. Toss them. It took me a while to get used to the fact I have a new body that may never go back and guess what? That’s ok. No one likes to drop money on clothing, especially after having a baby, but do this for yourself. Get clothing that is flattering for your new body. You don’t need a ton of new pieces, just a pair of pants and a few basic shirts and you will feel like a new woman.
Make time for friends. I know it’s hard to plan around everyone’s schedules, but don’t get to the point you feel isolated. Make a quick coffee date when you know your child(ren) are well rested, schedule in a phone call, make grocery runs together. By making time for friends, you are getting back a part of you that feel like YOU. And that in turn, will make you feel normal again.
Be confident in YOU. Listen, stop comparing yourself to other moms, stop reading articles where they are talking about celebrity moms bouncing back right after having children. All moms bodies are NOT created equally and it’s time we start recognizing that and start appreciating what bodies we have been given. We are beautiful, we are sexy, we carried those adorable babies in our bodies and we are walking proof that we are proud to be their moms. Every scar, every imperfection, is a reminder of the blessing of life. So wear them proudly because you are YOU and you are beautiful!