Don’t mistake the title for the fact you don’t love your spouse, but think back to the time when you fell in love. The butterflies, how nervous you were to say those 3-letter words “I love you.” That’s the kind of falling in love I am talking about. Where you are excited to spend time with them, you think about them often during the day, and the fact you know you are spending the rest of your lives together is truly something you can’t imagine being without.
Relationships are hard, it’s something that has to be worked on daily, but adding in kids can make the hard seem more difficult. Here are 5 ways to help you fall in love with your spouse again.
The 5 Love Languages:
This is definitely one thing I absolutely recommend to any one. Kids, single men and women, married men and women, and people in a relationship. Finding out what both- your love language and your spouses- can help any relationship. By taking a simple and free questionnaire you can find out what languages are the most important to you: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts. It’ll tell you your score for each and explain what the person wants/needs from the other.
You can find more information and take the questionnaire here: www.5lovelanguages.com
Carve Out Quality Time:
Quality time is important. We often are so busy with our every day life that we forget to just sit and enjoy each others company. Carve out some time each day. Maybe it’s before the kids wake up in the morning or right after they go to bed. I know you both may be tired, but it’s so important that you both are making time to just be with each other. This is your time to reconnect, even if you’re just cuddling and watching TV.
Do a Common Interest Together:
Think back to when you were dating. The moment you found out you both loved something together. Maybe it was sports or cooking. Whatever it may be, get back to doing it! Find time to cook together one weekend, or get a baby sitter and head to a local sports game. Do things you both love doing together, or… to spice things up a bit, do something new you both have always wanted to do. While it’s a great idea to do something for your spouse, it’s also fantastic to do something you both enjoy and can relate on.
Be Affectionate (both Physically and Verbally):
This one is something I actually struggle on. It’s not that I don’t want to be affectionate, it’s just that after a day of kids climbing all over me, homework, and struggling to put the kids to sleep, the last thing I want to do is be all “lovey-dovey” with my man. However, this one is very important. I am not talking about needing to have sex every night (although that could definitely be beneficial to a marriage), but I am talking about making sure you both not only tell each other you love them, but you also show it. Whether you make it a point to hold hands while in the car, cuddling when you sit to watch tv, kiss each other multiple times throughout every single day, and more, just make sure you are doing it.
Communication is key. One of the biggest struggles a lot of couples experience is the lack of communications. Think back to when you two were dating, how open you two were about everything. Talk to your spouse. Make some time to just lay in bed, cuddle on the couch, or take some uninterrupted time throughout the day and have a phone conversation for a half hour. You’ll be surprised how much talking and communicating with your spouse can improve your relationship and help you fall more and more in love with your spouse every day.
Bonus- Here are words of advice from my father, who has been happily married to my beautiful mother for over 36 years, “Never forget the way you felt when you first started dating. No matter how tough times may get, ALWAYS remember those feelings.”