This is a topic many of us stress about and don’t know the right way to go about it. Whether you are wanting to introduce your new boyfriend or girlfriend, there really is no easy way to do so. Some kids may welcome it with open arms, while others may not. By following these simple rules it can make the introduction go a lot smoother.
Rule #1- Take Your Time
There is really no reason to introduce your kids to the person you are dating unless you are sure this new person will be sticking around for awhile. It should be a discussion you and the person you are dating have about their feelings about meeting your kids, your feelings, and how you are going to approach it. If you are planning on being in this for a long time, then really there isn’t any rush, so take your time.
Rule #2- Introduce As Your Friend
If your kids are smaller, I would always recommend you introduce your new boyfriend as just your friend. They are too young for you to really discuss your dating life and quite honestly at that point, it’s really none of their business. Many times kids will do just fine with meeting mommy’s friends, so for that reason, I suggest you introduce him as just a friend and later as they get to know him you can slowly start introducing him as more than that.
Rule #3- Talk To Older Kids About New Relationship
I know I said to introduce as friends but with a certain age comes the knowledge that you may not be telling them the truth. Older kids tend to know that new person isn’t just a friend so I feel like with that, you need to have a discussion with your children and let them know about him. Talk about their feelings. It’s a great way to connect with your children and address any fears or concerns they may have about you dating.
Rule #4- Meet Outside Your Home
Nothing is more intimidating and disrespectful to your children than meeting inside the home they live in. There is absolutely no reason for their first meet to happen there, just like you wouldn’t meet a blind date in your home on the first date. Find a fun, less intimidating place to meet whether it be at a baseball game, bowling alley, restaurant, etc. I typically go with the rule of going to a place my kids enjoy so they can open up and be themselves. Plus it’s a great way to see your new boyfriend interact with the kids.
Rule #5- Pay Attention
You may be completely smitten but pay close attention to know how this new love interest interacts and treats your children. Your kids don’t have to like him right away and may even be a little protective but let their opinions be heard and take them seriously. If your kids don’t like him for no reason, that is no cause for a breakup, but if there are valid reasons behind what they are telling you, you need to take that into consideration and see if that’s someone you’d want to be with for the long run.